Tuesday, 6 October 2009

The Reading Group 2

Ruth has kindly forwarded the minutes of the second The Complete Works of Gill McKnight session. I feel obliged to share...unfortunately.

Minutes for meeting of 160909
This week’s book – Falling Star.

Ruth Good evening group. I trust we all managed to get a copy of Falling Star for this week.

Benson The cat was sick on mine.

Ellis It’s not like homework. You don’t have to hand anything in.

Benson Hey. If I say the cat barfed all over my book then it did, okay.

Ruth That’s a pity, Benson. Did you manage to read any of it?

Benson No. The pages stuck together. I can’t even sell it second hand on Amazon. What can I say – Used, slightly chunky and smells.

Ruth (sighs) Okay. Did anyone else read Falling Star?

Cecilia I did.

Ruth Oh, fantastic. What did you think?

Cecilia I thought Solley Rayner was a right cow.

Ruth Oh?

Cecilia The way she slunk around flirting with her ex. It was odious. She ought to have been shot. Taken outside and pushed under a bus.

Ruth What!

JB For the last time she wasn’t flirting with her ex. She was just being friendly. After all they’d spent years together…had all that history and stuff.

Cecilia Oh? And what sort of stuff would it be that had them creeping off to hide in a cupboard at the party, huh?

Martha Ahem

Ruth What cupboard? What party? I don’t remember reading anything about—

JB Oh for God’s sake, Cecilia. It wasn’t a cupboard – it was the temperature controlled wine closet. And we were only talking about—

Cecilia Yes! About what! You were gone for ages and people started looking at me with sympathetic eyes. You know how I hate sympathetic eyes.

Martha Ahem

JB Don’t be daft. No one was looking at you.

Dreamcatcher I’m sensing hurt here. I’m a very empathic person.

Benson Who’s Solley Rayner. Your ex?

JB No, she’s not my ex! She’s in the book your stupid cat puked on.

Martha Ahem

Benson My cats not stupid. This discussion is stupid. What the hell are you on about.

Dreamcatcher And anger. A lot of anger. It’s a pure blue energy. I see emotions as a kaleidoscope of colour…

Ruth Now lets all calm down. Has this cupboard anything at all to do with Falling Star?

JB For the last time it was a wine closet…with a glass door.

Cecilia How convenient. I suppose that’s how you know no one was looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

Martha Ahem

Ruth Yes – what is it Martha…

Martha Why is the workshop called The Complete Works of Gill McKnight? Is she dead?

Benson Aaah man. Don’t tell me my cat spewed on a collectable first edition. Everything triples in price once the writer snuffs it. Typical.

Ellis If she’s dead then it was very sudden. She was posting on Facebook only this morning—

Ruth She’s not dead! The flyer for the group was wrong. I didn’t ask for it to say Complete works.

Ellis So she’s not dead then.

Dreamcather Now I’m picking up indifference. It’s the next stage after hurt and anger.

Martha I liked Falling Star better when I thought she was dead.

Ruth I’m afraid she is very much among us.

Cecilia Unlike some people…unless, of course, you live in a wine closet.

JB Please, don’t start that again.

Ruth Martha. Quickly, what do you like about Falling Star. Now that you know the author is living?

Martha Oh, umm. I liked the boat.

Ruth What boat?

Martha And the kidnapping bit.

Ruth That’s the wrong one. That’s her second book, Green eyed Monster. We’re talking about that after Falling Star. IF we ever get around to discussing it that is.

Dreamcatcher The indifference is growing stronger. It’s really quite amazing. It’s as if we’re all shrouded in taupe.

Ellis The man with the watch is back. Times up, folks.

Dreamcatcher And suddenly there’s this massive flood of joy and it’s a sort of emergency-exit green?


Cate said...

All I can say is SNORK.

evecho said...

Part 3, please. And show the cupboard.